CG's Slayers Movie Trailers
by Rocky and CG
Summary: Maybe I'll have CG get her own account so she can submit her own fics. But till then, here's another one of CG's hilarious fics. See the Slayers previews to the movies this year! Frequency, What Woman Want and Scream!


Slayers Movie Trailers (I do not own Slayers or the movies)  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~Rated PG-13.   
  
Eris: You worthless piece of filth! Get off your lazy ass and clean Lord Rezo's lab when you finish using it.   
  
Zel: ::grumble:: But he was always messy.   
  
Eris: GET IN THERE!!!! kicks   
  
Zel: Ow. Bitch. Hey, what's this? It looks like an old gizmo of Rezo's. I wonder if it works.   
  
MVG: Asteroids invading the world's atmosphere tampers with the astral plane...  
  
Zel: I believe this turns it on. There we go. What is it?  
  
Voice: Hello?  
  
Zel: Hello?   
  
Voice: Hello?   
  
Zel: Hello?   
  
Voice: How is this happening?  
  
Zel: I hear you through this invention thingy.   
  
Voice: Damn, I thought I was the only one that invented this. Who is this anyway?   
  
Zel: My name is Zelgadis Greywords.   
  
Voice: Bull^%$#!   
  
Zel: What do you mean? It's my name.   
  
Voice: Listen buddy! I don't know who you or how know my grandson's name but...  
  
Zel: What the hell are you talking about? Who is this?  
  
Voice: My name is Rezo but...   
  
Zel: You can't be... You can't!   
  
MVG: Zelgadis Greywords stumbles onto a way to talk to his grand/great grandfather... who's been dead for a whole lot of years.   
  
Rezo: Astroids are allowing us to talk. Past and future. Ok. So, tell me about yourself.   
  
Zel: You turned me into a hideous stone freak and you tried to destroy the world.   
  
Rezo: Oh... Are you married?   
  
Zel: No.   
  
Rezo: Ah, so lil' Zelly is going to grow up to be a virgin loser.   
  
Zel: ::growl:: I am *not* a virgin loser!   
  
Rezo: Then are you gay? I hope you have found a wonderful boyfriend...  
  
Zel: heats Why you...!   
  
Rezo: At least tell me you have a girlfriend...  
  
Zel: Well I... ::blush::   
  
Rezo: sing-song Zelly got a girlfriend... Zelly got a girlfriend...   
  
Zel: ::growls:: SHUT UP!!!   
  
MVG: Experience warm, tender moments between grandson and grandfather...  
  
Zel: ::cries:: How could you do this to me! How could you...?   
  
Rezo: I don't know, I haven't done it yet.  
  
Zel: You...! ::cries:: I hate you...   
  
Rezo: So how did I die?  
  
Zel: I'm not falling for that! You're dead and you're staying that way!   
  
Rezo: Awww... Look at lil' Zelly walk down the hallway annoying me with his lil' guitar... PLAY THAT IN YOUR ROOM!!!!   
  
Zel: ZELGADIS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!! Don't trust him!! He's...   
  
Rezo: Lil' Zelly already left...     
  
Zel: DAMN YOU, REZO!!!!!  
  
MVG: Experience the magic of Slayer's Frequency.   
  
Rezo: Who's that? Is that me?  
  
Zel: No, that's Eris' copy of you.   
  
Rezo: Oh, a copy of me, huh?  
  
Kopii: Huh? Who...?  
  
Rezo: Hello, it's the original speaking...  
  
Kopii: ::growls:: I'll show you you were nothing but a mistake!   
  
Rezo: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the Real Red Priest please stand up? I repeat...  
  
Kopii: GGRRRR... breaks machine DAMN YOU!!!!!!     
  
~~~~~~~~~~~Rated: PG-13  
  
Movie Voice Guy (MVG): Zangulus Emantsalon was a typical male bounty-hunting jerk with a huge ego.   
  
Zangulus: I will be the best, dammit!   
  
MVG: Until one day while training in a severe thunderstorm he was stuck by 10,000 volts of lightning...  
  
Zangulus: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!   
  
MVG: When he wakes up, strange things start to happen.  
  
Zangulus: Fight me, Gourry!   
  
Gourry: ::sighs:: Not now.   
  
Lina: Go away, you jerk!   
  
Zangulus: Not until I...  
  
Linathinking: Man, this jerk is so %$#@ annoying. Doesn't he have a life? I thought that Jeffery kid was annoying. Geez... Why does he have to think with his dick so much?   
  
Zangulus: ::growls:: What did you say?  
  
Lina: What? I didn't say anything.   
  
Zangulus: That's a lie!   
  
Lina: Huh?   
  
Zangulus: You just said I don't have a life!   
  
Lina: No, I didn't.   
  
Zangulus: But...   
  
Gourry: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?   
  
MVG: He discovers he has a very special gift.   
  
Zangulus: I think I can hear what woman think. It's driving me nuts.   
  
Amelia: Ok, so what am I thinking now?   
  
Zangulus: You think Zelgadis is being an asshole and should put the moves on you already.   
  
Amelia: ::blush:: Uh... let's say that you do have this talent. Why are you treating it like a curse. Men would kill to do what you can.   
  
Zangulus: Really?  
  
Amelia: Yeah, I mean you'll know exactly what your girlfriend wants for X-mas. Uh... when a girl has PMS so you will stay the hell away... Uh...    
  
Zangulus: You're right! This is a blessing!   
  
MVG: And so...   
  
Gourry: Owww...   
  
Lina: ::growls:: Gourry!   
  
WHACK   
  
Linathinking: I'm sorry, Gourry. I love you but I don't want people to think I'm easy. I want to look all bad and tough. Say it when we're alone. I want to get in your pants so bad.     
  
Zangulus: I thought so. ::snicker::   
  
MVG: And so on...   
  
Xellosthinking: What a bunch of morons I must follow around. So unstable.   
  
Zangulus: What the...? I thought I could...   
  
Xellosthinking: Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm using them for Master's plans to destroy the world. ::snicker:: I can't believe someone as scrawny as Lina could be so powerful. Strange things happen sometimes.   
  
Zangulus: Xellos is a girl? ::sweatdrop:: walks towards Lina  
  
Zangulus: Hey, Lina... Guess what I heard?   
  
2 seconds later...   
  
WHACK  
  
Xellos: Owww!!! ::cries:: What did I do?!?!?   
  
MVG: And see how he learns to become a true ladies'man.   
  
Martina: Oh, Zangulus...  
  
Zangulus: Oh, Martina...   
  
Martinathinking: Zangulus has a great ass!   
  
Zangulus: YES!   
  
kiss   
  
Martinathinking: Ohhhh... that guy over there is cute... him too... and that guy and...  
  
Zangulus: ::sigh:: Maybe it isn't a 100% blessing after all.   
  
MVG: Coming to a theater near you.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Rated R  
  
ring   
  
Gourry: Hello?   
  
Scary Voice Guy (SVG): Are you alone?   
  
Gourry: Who is this?   
  
SVG: What are you doing? What's that noise in the background?   
  
Gourry: Popcorn. Jumbo-sized.    
  
SVG: Oh, you're watching a movie. What movie are you watching?   
  
Gourry: Blazing Saddles.   
  
SVG: That's odd for a late-night movie.  
  
Gourry: Lina gets scared easily.   
  
SVG: What's your favorite horror movie?   
  
Gourry: Give me a minute. Freddy 6 was hilarious. Lina and I laughed and laughed...   
  
SVG: No, no. I mean scary scary...  
  
Gourry: Who is this?   
  
SVG: Well, who is this? I want to know who I'm looking at.   
  
Gourry: What?!?!   
  
SVG: What?   
  
Gourry: Where are you?   
  
SVG: You look so cute in your pjs...  
  
Gourry: It's you, isn't it? ::growls:: I got a restraining order on you! I'm calling the cops!   
  
SVG: NO!!! Wait...  
  
Gourry: Lina told you she was going to kick your ass next time! She'll be over any minute now. STOP CALLING ME!!!!   
  
SVG: Oh come on, Miss LaLa. You don't need her. Give me another chance. I'll change, I swear!   
  
  
By C.G.  
I ^^;;;; know... I know,  
  



End file.
